Saturday, September 22, 2012

Back to school

I am petrified.  No, that is probably a bad word to use in this context.   I have a memory of something being petrified...we were walking along a beach (me, my dad, and perhaps my brother) I don't recall which beach or what state- but we came upon a large tree that had washed up to the shore.  It was beautiful and grotesque- out of place, but not...I loved it.  My dad explained to me that it had been petrified.  I was young, probably 8 or 9.  I thought- was it scared?  Scared was the only word I could tie to "petrified"  trees can't be scared...I was a little confused. 

I am a dork.  I love to listen to WFYI's "A Way With Words"  it comes on Saturday afternoons right after "Car Talk"  Now I've revealed how much of a dork I really am.  In the above mentioned radio show, people call in about grammar questions, dialect questions, word meaning questions, etc...and the hosts graciously do their best to answer these questions.  Where am I going with this?  Oh yes- petrified.  What it really means.
transitive verb
: to convert (organic matter) into stone or a substance of stony hardness by the infiltration of water and the deposition of dissolved mineral matter
: to make rigid or inert like stone:
a : to make lifeless or inactive : deaden <slogans are apt to petrify a man's thinking — Saturday Review>
b : to confound with fear, amazement, or awe <a novel about an airline pilot that will petrify you
Thus, in reality I've probably never been petrified.  But, it's a fun word, right? 
I've decided I'm going to go back to school to pursue the Nursing degree that I began what seems like eons ago.  (really just over 13 years, but that's a long time)  And I'm a little overwhelmed.  Not petrified.  I am certainly not deadened by the thought- in fact, very much alive.  I have been thinking about this for YEARS, but the time has never seemed right.  Why now? I don't just seems right.  I know- I have 5 kids.  I have a husband who puts in long hours.  I drive my kids to/from school which eats up almost 2 hours of my day. I like to keep a clean, orderly home, I like to make meals from scratch, I keep on top of my laundry, my kids are involved in activities, I spend time playing games with my kids, doing homework, etc... We are involved in church, I have a 2 year old...(and he is a handful!)  

I quit school when I was pregnant with Elijah.  Josh and I got married young.  I was only 19. We were both full time college students working full time- life was good. I was making good grades, as was he.  We were both working 2nd shift and ate lots of Hot Pockets,.  Then I got pregnant- we both felt incredibly blessed and happy.  But I was so sick.  Working was difficult- school was even more difficult.  So in the middle of the spring semester I had to call it quits.  I just couldn't do it.  I always held the thought that I would go back.  But I had my baby, life took over... and you know...I had a lot more babies.  

I've wanted to be a nurse for a long time.  I ALWAYS wanted to be a mommy.  I knew from the beginning  of my pregnancy that I wanted to stay home with my baby as much as possible.  Josh was 100% okay with this, and did all he could to enable me to do that.  He has always appreciated the long hours I put into our family.  He still does. 

But I've come to a point in life where I feel like I have a "little" extra time.  Come on...I only have 1 kid at home with me :)  I've got all the time in the world!  I have people who will support me in this- so now is the time.  Right now, I'm only going to go part time.  There will come a time I will have to be full time, but by that time, Jeremiah will be in school full time.  I will start school in January, and your prayers will be much appreciated.  2 of my classes are online (hopefully I can do a lot on line.)  My dad and Julie (stepmom, for those of you who don't know) have graciously decided to watch Jeremiah 2 days per week for a few hours so I can do this!  It just so happens that one of the classes I need this semester starts at 8am- which is 10 minutes after I have to drop the kids off at school.  But no worries, because class meets less than 2 minutes from the kids school and about 5 minutes from my dad & Julies house, so it seems to be working out perfectly! 

I am very thankful to my husband who has encouraged me to pursue my dreams, and my family who are willing to make a few sacrifices to help me along this journey.  I think it will take me about 4 years to get a 2 year degree- but I have to move like a snail, because I DO have 5 kids!  Perhaps I will eventually get my bachelor's- I don't know what I will do.  But for now, I'm going- and I won't be petrified. 

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