I have an incomplete post. It's about my grocery budget. I'm sure you're all intrigued, and can not wait for me to post more about it. But it will have to wait. You see, I'm trying to figure out a way to feed 8-9 people off of $100 per week. That takes a lot of consideration, and I think it might be impossible. But I will try! And when I do, I will finish my post. Until then, you get my nonsensical ramblings. Just because.
I have been stricken with grief lately. Our pastor has been teaching through 1 Cor. 13. We all know the passage....the "love" passage. It's easy to read, easy to 'comprehend', but so hard to practice. If you are unfamiliar with what passage in which I speak, let me refresh your memory.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...
There is a song we sang at VBS a few years ago...a lot of years ago, I think Abigail was 2 and I was the song/craft leader for the preschoolers. The words were (and so cute in 2-5 year old voices) "God says love is patient, God says love is kind" Those words pretty much sum up the song, but they also pretty much sum up everything that I am so often not; toward my children, and towards the world at large. I want to be those things, but I am not.
Why the dichotomy? Why am I so inept at being what I desire so much to be? Do I really want to be like that, or are these unrealistic ideals?
The bible repeatedly teaches us to 'put off' our old selves (the sinfulness, etc...) and put on the 'new self' Just how do we do that? Well, I'm here to tell you that it doesn't happen by virtue of your own good will or intention. It only happens when we submit to God. Hmmm...what does that mean? I am still learning, but I think I have some ideas.
*understand that you are a sinner saved by grace
-what is your response to this acknowledgement?
Nobody is perfect, nobody will ever meet your standard. The quicker you learn this the better.
Sorry friends, but that's about all I've got right now. There's much more in my brain, but I'm really into drama lately (because I've been watching Downton Abby on PBS) so I'm all about the cliff hanger.
Just kidding. I really don't have much else. It seems to me that understanding that NOBODY is perfect, and God does not expect perfection out of an ordinary human being is the lifeblood of the Christian walk. Jesus loved me where I was, and He loves me where I am now. I should be doing that for others...especially my children.
We are all so unique. God has crafted each of us so intricately, so beautifully; flaws and all. Yes, God wants me to discipline my children when they are out of line, but at the same time, he calls me to love them right where they are. It's a fine line, but God is gracious. And I pray that He will be gracious to me, and allow me to show grace and mercy to others.